Sledgehammer (1983)

 

Sledgehammer (1983)

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-Tf3s9H9oM

Sledgehammer is a 1983 “Shot-on-Video” “film” by writer and director David A. Prior.  The film tells the story of a group a of friends who travel to a secluded house to party, only to come face to face with a ghostly, sledgehammer wielding, slasher who intends to take them out with a violent bash.  If you are unfamiliar with the “Shot-on-Video” types of films, think of them almost as a precursor to the cheap found footage movies we have become inundated with over the last 25 or more years.  The advent of affordable camera equipment helped inspire a slew of would-be film makers to make films with almost no budget (or talent) at all!  Sledgehammer is one of those films. The grain of the film gives it a “snuff” film vibe, or better yet, a “America’s Funniest Home Videos” vibe.  Let me be clear, I recommend this movie.  I recommend it in the same breath as something like “The Room” or “Birdemic” as something you need a large group of friends, alcohol, and maybe even some “controlled substances” to fully understand this movie.  Still not sure? What follows is not a typical “review” as I am going to break down this movie scene by scene so you can wade carefully into the Sledgehammer pool. 

                                                           "Photos with threatening auras..."

We open the film with a title card that looks like it escaped from the opening credits of the old television classic, Land of the Lost.  The film then slowly scrolls through its grainy credits and the audience braces for the journey through extreme low-budget SOV land.  The first shot is a long, uncomfortable single frame of a red farmhouse until we smash cut to the interior as “Mother” locks her son in a closet in a sequence that makes you question if the director has a fetish for doorknobs. It is at this moment that the audience realizes that this film is going to go at its own pace, and that pace is a slow-motion sequences every 5 minutes (Zack Snyder would be proud).  I must rationalize from a gut feeling that all the slow-motion and the long lingering establishing shots were to extend the run time, to which after some research this gut feeling turned out to be true.  We learn that “Mother” and the character only established as “Lover”, are shacking up in this farmhouse to have an affair.  Why Mother brought her son along on this field trip will never be known as the steamy love affair is cut short by an unseen assailant bringing a sledgehammer down on their skulls. 

            10 years later, we meet our heroes(?) as they arrive to the farmhouse for a rowdy weekend of mustard fights and “bud” chugs.  We have as follows:

·         Chuck-played by David Prior’s “Hunky Boy” brother Ted Prior, as our jock hero

·         Joni- Chucks girlfriend who visits the same hairstylist.

·         John- Our big strong man in the “65” shirt.

·         Mary- John’s lady friend

·         Joey-The class clown

·         Jimmy-The John Oates body double

·         Carol- A Hall and Oates fan.

"That's the way they became the Brady Bunch!"

A mechanic drops them off and goes off with their van, clearly escaping the movie before it starts. We get more tedious slow-motion sequences of them unpacking their bags and long lingering shots of the house and some “fun” party scenes that I guess can be categorized as “character development.” We are rewarded with a synthesizer score during the entire run-time of the film, apart from a scene where we get another slow-motion sequence that involves a lover’s walk with our main lovebirds, Chuck and Joni as the music changes to a score that can only be described as “We need to rip-off The Carpenters.”  The film gives us our usual POV shots from the Killer as he spies on the kids as they drink their way through a beer party, a guitar interlude, and a bad Ronald Regan impression, I assume.  A quick party scene ensues but then cuts to a scene with a guitar playing Chuck attempting to woo Joni, which is a short segment that left me wishing this film changed into a musical.  While he plays the camera focuses on different focal points for what I assume is supposed to be the Killer in the window or a “POV” of the Killer watching them.  It’s hard to say because contrary to what you would expect, due to the low resolution of the film, zooming in on shots makes the film harder to see.

            We jump back into the film with a classic 80s food fight.  You can feel the expertise of the director in the scene as he probably gave them the direction of, “I dunno, throw some mustard too.” I am going to assume there are sections of this film that did not have a script and he just told the actors to “wing” a scene and this feels like one of those.  I also admire Chuck’s ability to nurse the alcohol he is drinking because I swear, he carries it with him throughout the entire first act. We have some typical 80 scenes of the “boys being boys” and the girls being like “boys am I right?”  and the “look Joey was killed by being hung with shoe-string in the shower prank.” You know, the usual 80s movies gags.  The film then dares to throw a twist in our direction as we have reveal shot of a sledgehammer…that disappears!  Not once did I expect the film to introduce our Killer as a ghost sledgehammer!  You got me David A. Prior, you got me!  

    My credit given to Mr. Prior, however, gets thrown out the window as Chuck drags the needle across a record to turn it off.  My vinyl record loving heart skipped a beat.  The gang, led by Chuck, decide it would be peachy keen if they would take part into a Séance, which the film transitions into by using a Reading Rainbow camera wipe.  I would go into a great description of the séance and the backstory to the house, but the film literally replays large portions of the beginning of the movie we just saw!  It is a few seconds of Chuck giving exposition and then a replay of what we saw earlier. I am talking about literally showing full scenes from the opening of the movie again. I would be willing to bet that the flashback scenes, which are interlaced with commentary by Chuck, are played in their entirety as well and just shows the entire beginning of the movie. 

"For my next trick, watch as a conjure up a better script!"

    After Chuck has completed the backstory to the house, they start the séance with Joey playing a ghostly voice recording upstairs so that Chuck and he can play a prank on the group.  Going back to the ghost sledgehammer for a second, I got to give it to the film to introduce such as unique concept and inject some deep philosophy into this film. The sledgehammer was just a metaphor for the violence inherit in us all and how in times of great stress, our anger with materialize, almost like a ghost, to bring calamity on-oh wait no, there is a ghost man-boy and he murders Joey, very slowly, with a knife to the throat.  The ghost then slowly drags Joey away.

            The film starts back up and I must make an observation about the 80s hairstyles and how hard it is to distinguish the guys and the gals sometimes, something that isn’t helped due to the low image quality of some of the scenes.  I would often have to take a few seconds to distinguish which person was which between Joni and Chuck.  Anyways, back to the plot in which Chuck goes to search for Joey, only to find his boom-box covered in ketchup.  Jimmy and Carol sneak away to have one of the strangest sex scenes I have ever seen in a film.  It was the 80s, so I should just assume that they learned sex ed from old nature documentaries about manatees so I will give them some leeway as to why they hardly move.  Joni and Chuck discover the body of Joey and Chuck has her go get Jimmy and Carol to take them downstairs.  He tells her not to tell them what happened to Joey, for some reason, which leads to the question of why none of them try to leave the house?  Joni tries to warn them, but it is too late as the Killer has come into the room.  Another credit I will give David Prior is that the Killer in the film is quite disturbing wearing a clear plastic mask of a woman’s face with a ghastly grin.  

"Me staring down at my morning breakfast"

    This does give the film a bit of strength as it makes the film feel more like a greasy snuff film, in that you feel like it’s something you should not be watching. The Killer grabs Carol and snaps her neck as Jimmy just lays there to wait his turn to be killed with a sledgehammer to the chest.  What a gentleman! The Killer chases after Joni only to shape-shift into a young boy and disappear when she joins back with the group.

            John goes to investigate the corpses of Jimmy and Carol and finds a sledgehammer that has the power to raise the volume of the film’s soundtrack when held.  He shows the sledgehammer to the group telling them the Killer “tore them to pieces?” which is quite the exaggeration as we literally just saw the entire full body corpses of Jimmy and Carol. The group argues about leaving the house vs staying and seeking revenge for the killing of their friends which I must scream at the screen again JUST LEAVE. The gang huddles together in the living room and falls asleep as we have more establishing shots of different rooms in the house and the man-boy ghost appearing and disappearing down hallways.  John wakes up, only to find the sledgehammer has disappeared and he goes into the kitchen to grab the world’s noisiest knife. John searches the house looking for the Killer as we are gifted with more flashbacks to scenes, we saw only 20 mins ago of Chuck telling the story of the Killer again.  John is then teleported into another room…somehow.  Apparently, the man-boy ghost also has intergalactic powers over time and space.  John, in this new room, attempts to open the closet.  He unfortunately does this so slowly that cobwebs grow over the door handle.  John finds the ketchup covered skull of the boy(?) and Jimmy and Carol appear in the room seated at a table with a newspaper grasped in Jimmy’s hand. 

"This is the worst Arby's I've ever been to!"

    I also appreciate the ghost has some interior decorating skills as a bloody upside-down star appears on the wall before.  John reads the newspaper, and we discover the films shocking twist that the killer…is the boy from the beginning!  Dun, Dun, Duuuun! John is then attacked by the killer, and John stabs the man-boy ghost with the knife.

            The rest of the group finds John and he walks towards them and falls as we see the knife is in his back! Mary then is teleported in the room as Chuck tries to bust open the door, which looks as if some crew members are struggling on the other side of the door to keep Chuck out because he 100% knocks open that door at least 5 times as he jumps into it. They make it into the room as the ghost has changed into his little boy form and is stabbing Mary to death.  It makes you think that for a film called “Sledgehammer” there is not that many sledgehammer deaths going on. Chuck asks the boy who he is, and I think he says something about his mother, it’s hard to understand. It is either that or a desperate plea to change his name to “Alan Smithee” in the film’s credits.

"I think he is saying, ' Help, Help! Forcing me to be in this movie is child abuse!'"

    Chuck then grabs the knife by the blade, but then blames the cut on the kid and attempts to take the 

boys mask off. The boy is too strong and gives Chuck a swift slap across his face, mostly as punishment

 for being a dumb-ass and grabbing the knife by the blade. The boy transforms into his adult self and

 Chuck pushes Joni out of the room to do battle with the killer. Chuck starts off strong with a swift kick

 to the Killer’s ghost balls but then is taken down when the Killer slams him into the wall a couple of

 times.

 The Killer then sets his sights on Joni and stalks her down the hallways. I am unclear on the layout of this house.  Unfortunately, the Killer forgot the age-old rule, never bring a sledgehammer to a baseball bat fight as Joni bashing him in the back a couple times. Joni makes a break for the kitchen, grabs a butcher knife, and stabs it into the Killer.  He nonchalantly throws the knife to the side and grabs Joni.  It looks like Joni is about to meet her demise until a shirtless, hunky boy Chuck comes in to save the day! 

  "Someone call Peter Gabriel because I want to be Chuck's sledgehammer"

    We get some interesting POV shots from the Killer’s point of view as Chuck gets the Sledgehammer 

and smashes in the Killers face, bringing the couples nightmare to an end. Chuck and Joni leave the 

house as the sun rises and the movie comes to an end…or does it?! The film pans up to the window as 

the boy watches the couple leave, clearly the start of at least 10 more sledgehammer films.  The credits 

then roll, filled with all the fake pun names in all their glory. You see, for some reason, David A. Prior 

decided the crew listing looked sparse, so he added a slew of fake people in the credits such as sound 

effects by I.P.  Phreilee.

So that is Sledgehammer!  A film only improved by alcohol and snark.  Would I recommend it as a solo viewing, probably not, would I recommend it as a party film, hell yes!  The film exists in this strange limbo that still makes the film a little inspiring.  If David A. Prior can make a film with zero budget, why not I? 

 

Sledgehammer gets 2.5 hammers out of 5.